Hoping and praying for a miracle!!

I am really hoping and praying for a positive soon. I think, well I know last month I was really obsessing with getting pregnant a little too much. Using those stupid ovulation prediction tests (that probably did not even work) and trying way too hard. I know it got to Chad too and for that I am sorry. This time I am trying to relax and just let nature and God let happen what is meant to happen. It is still so hard though. I have never in my life wanted something as bad as I want this and can do nothing really about it, well I can but you know what I mean. I swear I would have been fine with just one child until Chad and I finally after almost a year of trying got pregnant. I was so scared at first and wondered was this right? I really regret feeling like that now. I know it is a natural feeling though. After a few days of getting used to the feeling I got so excited!! I screamed it out to the whole world, literally. I know my miscarriage happened for a reason and our baby was not developing properly. I miss the pregnancy feeling. Even though I never felt the baby kick, I miss that right now. I should be feeling our baby kick and hiccup and move around right now. I should be picking out baby clothes, getting the nursery ready, taking Tyler to sibling classes, etc. There is so much I should be doing, but instead I have these feelings of sadness. It is so unfair. I want a baby not only for Chad and I, but for Tyler. I want Tyler to be a big brother, he deserves that. I want to see him helping Mommy and Daddy with the baby stuff. Guess we'll just keep trying and pray that it happens. If not I guess it was just not meant to be and I will have to accept that. Anyways, I am okay. I am feeling much better this month than last month. I guess with all this dreary weather the last few weeks I am just a little sad. If you could please say a little prayer tonight for our family and that God gives us a healthy baby. I would be so thankful. Thanks for reading my little vent. :)